Taking the Detour: A Reflection on Parenting a Child With Special Needs.
Parenting is hard. Parenting a child with special needs is a whole different kind of hard; one you never truly understand until you’re living it.
It’s the constant juggling of doctor appointments, therapies, school phone calls, and IEP meetings. It’s learning acronyms you never asked to learn and advocating in rooms where you sometimes feel like the only one fighting. It’s answering calls from the school with your heart already sinking, wondering what today’s challenge will be.
It’s exhausting.
And then there’s the loneliness that no one really prepares you for.
Trying to make friends; for yourself and for your child; can feel overwhelming. You’re searching for people who understand your life without long explanations. People who don’t judge, minimize, or offer “fixes.” People who get why canceling plans last minute isn’t personal, why progress isn’t linear, and why a “small win” can feel like climbing a mountain.
Not finding those people right away can make you feel alienated. Alone. Invisible.
Honestly? It is lonely sometimes. And it’s okay to admit that.
This journey often feels like taking life one day at a time; sometimes one hour at a time. You learn quickly that you are your child’s strength, even on the days you feel anything but strong. You show up when you’re tired. You fight when you’d rather rest. You keep going because your child needs you to.
And while it may feel like you’re taking two steps back some days, every small victory matters. Every word spoken, every new skill learned, every moment of understanding is worth it. Those victories don’t disappear just because yesterday was hard. They stack up, quietly building something incredible.
Looking back over the past nine years, it’s impossible not to feel emotional. From my child being kicked out of preschool, to not understanding his speech at all, to where he is now; I never would have imagined we’d get here. Not in my wildest dreams.
But we did.
And that’s why I want other parents walking this road to hear this clearly: don’t give up. Even when it feels impossible. Even when progress feels painfully slow. Even when you feel like no one else understands your life.
Along this journey, I’ve come to believe that I was chosen for this path with my child for a reason. While it hasn’t been easy, it has been deeply humbling. It has taught me patience, resilience, compassion, and a new definition of strength. It has forced me to slow down, to truly listen, and to celebrate progress in ways I never would have understood otherwise.
We are a testament that growth can happen. Change can happen. Your child can surprise you in ways you never expected.
As we step into a new year, I want to say this; Happy New Year. Let this be the year we show up for each other more. Moms should support other moms, especially those walking the harder paths. A kind word, a listening ear, or simply saying “I see you” can make all the difference.
This journey isn’t the one we planned; but it’s ours. And while the detours are hard, they are also filled with resilience, strength, and love deeper than we ever knew possible.
So, take it day by day. Celebrate the small wins. Rest when you need to. And know that you are not failing; you are fighting.
And that fight? It matters.